We lost a FRIEND today. We lost Matthew Perry.
The role of his life, and the one thanks to which he reached so many of us, was playing the iconic Chandler Bing for 10 seasons.
Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe. I’ll be there for you. I am an 80s kid: combine the live airing and the reruns and that series becomes, by far, the content I watched the most during my teens and 20s.
Sarcastic, witty, fast, and extremely relatable to me, Matthew Perry’s Chandler had a massive impact on how I conceive humour, probably how I write, and maybe a bit more…
Sarcastic, witty, fast: I wanted to be like him. To be able to read the room in a second, or hear about any mundane situation, and somehow turn the ordinary into something one could crack a joke about. I watched the series loving all the characters and appreciating their traits –and their own styles of humour! – but Chandler was the only one with whom I had a feeling of anticipation. What would the next punch line going to be?
Matthew’s character, which he apparently heavily shaped himself -adding his comments, ideas, one liners- also taught me that humour, especially self-deprecating jokes, used at the right time, can be a shortcut to people liking you. Make them laugh. Be vulnerable through humour, and you are a step closer to becoming friends. To being accepted. This came handy when talking with girls –though I think Chandler was significantly better than me at that…! – and it came in extremely handy when I moved to Finland: you don’t want to talk at all? Fine, I’ll do the heavy lifting: let me narrate to you my first swimming in the ice experience, including each shrinking detail…
Make them laugh, no matter what. Defeat your insecurities. And remember that each remark that gets you smiles or chuckles, whether at your, somebody else’s or the world’s expense, is a reminder not to take everything too seriously: life has challenges, we will all face reasons to cry during our lives. Pick those battles carefully, try to enjoy the ride.
That said, believe it or not, I did not really enjoy the real Chandler Bing until I came to Helsinki: only then, at age 22, did I start to watch FRIENDS in its original version and not dubbed. My English back then was rusty, basic, but I had a clear goal in mind: the day I would understand all of Chandler’s jokes, both the words and the meaning –hence: organically “get them”, without translating in my head! –, that day I would consider my English was good enough to get out there and find myself a job.
In the end, his extraordinary Chandler rendition, the anticipation, the expectations to always be the funny guy, ultimately might have caused the actor, in real life, too much pressure. Sarcastic, witty, and fast: a blessing and a curse, like with so many other comedians.
I can’t say I have followed Matthew Perry’s career or life too closely. Yet, somehow, his loss truly saddens me. It feels like losing a truly influential comedy teacher who never knew I existed. The actor and writer who shaped one of the most impactful characters I have ever watched. A buddy whose adventures had been recorded for me to rewatch, anytime. A guy who deserved better for all the joy he brought to us.
Thanks for everything, Matthew. Rest in peace.